[Whoops, sorry if you're looking for football blather here. As Dr Zep has pointed out below, this should have ended up on my political blog. Isn't life strange...]
Here's how the save the environment: not by listening to the cries of rich 'environmentalists' like George Monbiot calling on us all to wear hair shirts while they fly around the world on expensive photo-ops looking concerned.
The answer will be business ideas like this brilliant new design for a family car which re-engineer how we live by redesigning our lives so that we keep our hard won freedoms like mobility in the shape of the family car but we still have the opportunity to reduce our impact on the planet and - crucially - reduce our costs. Everyone loves a bargain and ideas like this provide 'win-win' solutions.
Environmentalism is to a large extent middle class snake oil which regrettably hides an important message. Ideas like this brilliant car concept blow the fear-mongers away. Bring them on.
Monday 20 September 2010
Sunday 19 September 2010
OXFORD UNITED 0, STOCKPORT COUNTY 1
Well, it was great to be back, just a shame about the result. I'd missed the atmosphere, the beer in the bar, the never-changing music before the match begins (can no one find another tape in the back of a cupboard?) and the draughty, cold sensation of the stands as the wind whips in from the Oxy bowling alley.
One change was the style and pace of the play, as the Yellows put together more passes and went forward far more than they did last year. Initial impressions were extremely good.
What was lacking once more was the atmosphere in the Family Stand, which still feels like watching in a pub. I watched enviously as the Stockport fans made noise throughout the game but hey, I'm as guilty as my neighbours for not making a fool of myself.
I missed Lady O's endless lowing ("Monoxford?") throughout the game, every game, regardless of what is happening) and the constant attacks on the referee of the old git in front of where we used to sit but there were enough people to tell the poor, benighted man in black what an idiot he was, how he didn't know what he was doing and, of course, that the disallowed goal was never offside despite us all being perpendicular to the defensive line at the other end of the pitch. Of course we all knew better!
Stockport showed how to play away, getting a lead and defending like devils but Oxford showed much promise and a wealth of attacking play. We should have been two up in the first half but sadly it wasn't to be. The Yellows also deserve credit for pressing right up to the final whistle.
I miss this! I hope to return several times this season and I must save my pennies for a season ticket for next year, because League One is going to be even more exciting...
One change was the style and pace of the play, as the Yellows put together more passes and went forward far more than they did last year. Initial impressions were extremely good.
What was lacking once more was the atmosphere in the Family Stand, which still feels like watching in a pub. I watched enviously as the Stockport fans made noise throughout the game but hey, I'm as guilty as my neighbours for not making a fool of myself.
I missed Lady O's endless lowing ("Monoxford?") throughout the game, every game, regardless of what is happening) and the constant attacks on the referee of the old git in front of where we used to sit but there were enough people to tell the poor, benighted man in black what an idiot he was, how he didn't know what he was doing and, of course, that the disallowed goal was never offside despite us all being perpendicular to the defensive line at the other end of the pitch. Of course we all knew better!
Stockport showed how to play away, getting a lead and defending like devils but Oxford showed much promise and a wealth of attacking play. We should have been two up in the first half but sadly it wasn't to be. The Yellows also deserve credit for pressing right up to the final whistle.
I miss this! I hope to return several times this season and I must save my pennies for a season ticket for next year, because League One is going to be even more exciting...
Friday 17 September 2010
BRING IT ON
Hallelujah! Having forgone a season ticket this year I have been missing the football desperately - but no more! This weekend we're going back to watch the game. Not surprisingly, we haven't got our old seats so we can scowl at the person who's taken one of them...
We probably won't be able to hear Lady O's relentless bleating or her son/grandson/daughter's boyfriend mooing 'monoxford' throughout the game. Still, there will doubtless be others to annoy us where we are sitting. And who knows? Maybe we'll be annoying others right back.
Still, I'm very excited, looking forward to my pint before the match, my son devouring sweets and not having a clue what's going on and then a naff pint in Frankie and Benny's after.
We probably won't be able to hear Lady O's relentless bleating or her son/grandson/daughter's boyfriend mooing 'monoxford' throughout the game. Still, there will doubtless be others to annoy us where we are sitting. And who knows? Maybe we'll be annoying others right back.
Still, I'm very excited, looking forward to my pint before the match, my son devouring sweets and not having a clue what's going on and then a naff pint in Frankie and Benny's after.
Sunday 27 June 2010
GO HOME IN SHAME YOU LOSERS. BETTER STILL, LEAVE THE COUNTRY FOR GOOD
I opened this up to express my utter contempt for this so-called 'golden generation' of England players, as I have been doing for some time. I forgot my post from yesterday about the Ghana-USA game. What a difference.
If these pampered oafs weren't playing for my country I might not mind. But they were. Add to that the insult of them coming off the pitch to profess their commitment and desire to win. Pull the other one, it plays the German national anthem.
They were pathetic. They are pathetic. As long as they are overpaid and falsely idolised in the Premiership they will remain pathetic whenever they come up against proper international opposition.
As for Wayne Rooney, he's a joke. Credited with supposed Brazilian skill, his inclusion was laughable. To murder Oscar Wilde, to play appallingly in one World Cup game may be regarded as unfortunate; to play that badly in three beggars belief that the manager could be so dumb that he thinks this no mark should play again. Why oh why couldn't Peter Crouch start? What was Capello thinking?
The only way England can win in future is if they spread the net for talent more widely. The Championship may not have these supposed 'stars' but it does have players who demonstrate a bit more desire and perhaps a bit more humility if they get it wrong.
The other thing England need is a manager who can work the England team. Poor Fabio Capello is used to Italians and Spanish players who give a damn. How can he possibly work with our catwalk nancies. I hope he walks away for his sake and for England's. The problem is, little Davey Beckham is lining himself up to take over. I'm not sure he's got it.
The European Championship qualifiers will begin in September and I'm pretty much decided that I won't bother watching unless the team changes root and branch. I look forward to the new football league season at the Kasam where I can watch players who play football and play together. Keep the Premiership: I'm happy with league two.
If these pampered oafs weren't playing for my country I might not mind. But they were. Add to that the insult of them coming off the pitch to profess their commitment and desire to win. Pull the other one, it plays the German national anthem.
They were pathetic. They are pathetic. As long as they are overpaid and falsely idolised in the Premiership they will remain pathetic whenever they come up against proper international opposition.
As for Wayne Rooney, he's a joke. Credited with supposed Brazilian skill, his inclusion was laughable. To murder Oscar Wilde, to play appallingly in one World Cup game may be regarded as unfortunate; to play that badly in three beggars belief that the manager could be so dumb that he thinks this no mark should play again. Why oh why couldn't Peter Crouch start? What was Capello thinking?
The only way England can win in future is if they spread the net for talent more widely. The Championship may not have these supposed 'stars' but it does have players who demonstrate a bit more desire and perhaps a bit more humility if they get it wrong.
The other thing England need is a manager who can work the England team. Poor Fabio Capello is used to Italians and Spanish players who give a damn. How can he possibly work with our catwalk nancies. I hope he walks away for his sake and for England's. The problem is, little Davey Beckham is lining himself up to take over. I'm not sure he's got it.
The European Championship qualifiers will begin in September and I'm pretty much decided that I won't bother watching unless the team changes root and branch. I look forward to the new football league season at the Kasam where I can watch players who play football and play together. Keep the Premiership: I'm happy with league two.
Saturday 26 June 2010
SUPERGHANAFRAGILISTICEXPEALIDOCIOUS
I got Ghana in my office sweepstake and I was quite pleased at the time. Having seen them go through to the quarter final stage I'm delighted.
This game against the USA was old school in every way. Both teams tried their utmost, right up to the last minute of extra time; neither team's players did any of the horrendous diving favoured by more established sides; neither team tackled dirty. They played football.
The Ghanaians pass the ball like its attached to them all with elastic and they played like a team. Add to that the fact that both the Ghanaian goals were humdingers and you've got a great result.
Full credit goes to the USA, whose football team is always a revelation. Unlike almost every other American team, their footballers don't try to win by technicalities but by guts and application. Great stuff.
If every World Cup game was played in this spirit the world would be a better place.
This game against the USA was old school in every way. Both teams tried their utmost, right up to the last minute of extra time; neither team's players did any of the horrendous diving favoured by more established sides; neither team tackled dirty. They played football.
The Ghanaians pass the ball like its attached to them all with elastic and they played like a team. Add to that the fact that both the Ghanaian goals were humdingers and you've got a great result.
Full credit goes to the USA, whose football team is always a revelation. Unlike almost every other American team, their footballers don't try to win by technicalities but by guts and application. Great stuff.
If every World Cup game was played in this spirit the world would be a better place.
Thursday 24 June 2010
BLIMEY, ENGLAND SHOWED UP FOR ONCE!
Well they did it and in some style. I stick by everything I have said before but it was nice to see the England we know and love - and just occasionally get a rare glimpse of - back yesterday in some style. The team played with commitment and power and deservedly won, although they should have scored many more goals. They even managed to cope with the dead weight of Wayne Rooney at the front ('a player of Brazilian ability', 'when he finds his form he'll show them', etc, etc, ad nauseaum). Seriously, how utterly cr@p does Rooney have to be to come off? I imagine that if he dropped dead, Capello would still play him up front. Jermain Defoe played him off the pitch. As for Peter Crouch, he scores goals. Isn't that what football players are supposed to do?
Anyway, let's hope this performance wasn't a flash in the pan. Let us not forget that this was Slovenia we were playing. Germany will be much, much tougher but would you wish for any other fixture to get your heart racing and your vocal cords straining? And if we win, the prospect of rubbing Maradona's nose in it must be enticing. Argentina are great - possibly the best team in this tournament - but you'd have to bet on England to really want to win that one. It is likely to be a 5 star classic so here's to the most difficult draw available. Football is a spectacle and the most spectacular fixture of all is coming up on Sunday.
Come on England.
Anyway, let's hope this performance wasn't a flash in the pan. Let us not forget that this was Slovenia we were playing. Germany will be much, much tougher but would you wish for any other fixture to get your heart racing and your vocal cords straining? And if we win, the prospect of rubbing Maradona's nose in it must be enticing. Argentina are great - possibly the best team in this tournament - but you'd have to bet on England to really want to win that one. It is likely to be a 5 star classic so here's to the most difficult draw available. Football is a spectacle and the most spectacular fixture of all is coming up on Sunday.
Come on England.
Wednesday 23 June 2010
HAPPINESS IS A BANANA HOLDER
What gets me about watching England is not that they are overpaid, although they are. It's not that they are thick, which many of them are. It's not that they are unable to emulate what thousands of people manage every day in parks across the country and actually play together with each other. It's not that these supposed athletes at the peak of their fitness are perennially injured. It's that I really give a damn.
Now, this blog is all about the fact that I know next to nothing about football, a fact I freely admit to. Asked to explain the offside rule I would probably gibber a little, laugh theatrically, point to something behind my interrogator and then leg it for the door. I know what it is - usually far better than the line judge, naturally - but I just can't put it into words. At times like the World Cup I stand shoulder to shoulder with millions of other, similarly ignorant fools who pay to watch these oafs as they miss passes, fall over balls, lose attackers and fail miserably to find the other team's goal despite it being huge and white and in the same place at every game. Knowing nothing is remarkably liberating because it means that you can say what you like secure in the knowledge that it really doesn't matter and that your immediate neighbours know about the same.
For Father's Day I got a banana holder, a huge yellow plastic box that looks like an ambitious sex aid but whose sole function is to keep my morning banana in tip-top condition on the trip to work. It works perfectly. It is a design classic, a marriage of form and function and I love it. It is as if a little piece of the jigsaw of my life slotted into place.
The England players all play in the richest, most famous league in the world. They benefit from among the best facilities in the world. They (mostly) have good managers and hard-working support staff and they are doing something they have been trained to do since childhood. They all play the same game - football, although it is at times difficult to believe this. They are all considered among the best players in the country. My banana holder has been designed for its job and does it with aplomb. Why can't 11 England players who have been 'designed', nurtured and set up for one thing do similar?
Why can't the England team match, say, Slovenia, a team from a small country whose players are clearly talented enough to reach major finals and who, crucially, recognise each other on the pitch and manage to play together? They won't win the World Cup but they will play together as a unit and do their damnedest to deliver for their country and they will be respected and lauded for doing so. If the Slovenian football team was a plastic food container it could lay claim to being a banana holder. The team has earned the right.
Could England? Hmm. On current form, we are talking about one of those plastic dishes you get a takeaway in. It works fine once but try and re-use it and it splits very easily. It also gets stained with the sauce so it is useless for storing other items as a result. (What is in sweet and sour sauce which makes it so toxic?)
England need to rediscover their ability to do what they are paid to do, pure and simple. Nothing more, no psychological b*lls**t, no media interviews, no photos in hideous pants. All we want is a team which plays football, preferably at the level it is fabled to be able to play at. We need a banana holder not a takeaway tub.
Can England deliver? Any rice?
Now, this blog is all about the fact that I know next to nothing about football, a fact I freely admit to. Asked to explain the offside rule I would probably gibber a little, laugh theatrically, point to something behind my interrogator and then leg it for the door. I know what it is - usually far better than the line judge, naturally - but I just can't put it into words. At times like the World Cup I stand shoulder to shoulder with millions of other, similarly ignorant fools who pay to watch these oafs as they miss passes, fall over balls, lose attackers and fail miserably to find the other team's goal despite it being huge and white and in the same place at every game. Knowing nothing is remarkably liberating because it means that you can say what you like secure in the knowledge that it really doesn't matter and that your immediate neighbours know about the same.
For Father's Day I got a banana holder, a huge yellow plastic box that looks like an ambitious sex aid but whose sole function is to keep my morning banana in tip-top condition on the trip to work. It works perfectly. It is a design classic, a marriage of form and function and I love it. It is as if a little piece of the jigsaw of my life slotted into place.
The England players all play in the richest, most famous league in the world. They benefit from among the best facilities in the world. They (mostly) have good managers and hard-working support staff and they are doing something they have been trained to do since childhood. They all play the same game - football, although it is at times difficult to believe this. They are all considered among the best players in the country. My banana holder has been designed for its job and does it with aplomb. Why can't 11 England players who have been 'designed', nurtured and set up for one thing do similar?
Why can't the England team match, say, Slovenia, a team from a small country whose players are clearly talented enough to reach major finals and who, crucially, recognise each other on the pitch and manage to play together? They won't win the World Cup but they will play together as a unit and do their damnedest to deliver for their country and they will be respected and lauded for doing so. If the Slovenian football team was a plastic food container it could lay claim to being a banana holder. The team has earned the right.
Could England? Hmm. On current form, we are talking about one of those plastic dishes you get a takeaway in. It works fine once but try and re-use it and it splits very easily. It also gets stained with the sauce so it is useless for storing other items as a result. (What is in sweet and sour sauce which makes it so toxic?)
England need to rediscover their ability to do what they are paid to do, pure and simple. Nothing more, no psychological b*lls**t, no media interviews, no photos in hideous pants. All we want is a team which plays football, preferably at the level it is fabled to be able to play at. We need a banana holder not a takeaway tub.
Can England deliver? Any rice?
Friday 18 June 2010
PATHETIC, USELESS ENGLAND
Abysmal, appalling, shameful, disastrous, weak, useless. Add your own adjective. That warm up game was a joke. I hope the real England game is better than that shambolic performance from a bunch of overpaid louts which has preceded it.
England were outplayed by an energetic Algeria - delightfully patronised by all and sundry despite them having qualified for this tournament fair and square and having beaten the imperious three-times African Nations Cup champions, Egypt, on the way.
Let's cut the crap. England are terrible. They lack spirit, they lack ability, they can't play together, they are woeful.
A key question is why the manager didn't play our 'world class' star, Wayne Rooney. And who was the fumbling spud-faced Scouser at the front of the England team who couldn't kick a ball in a straight line. He looked like Wayne Rooney but he couldn't have been, surely.
Now you expect Frank Lampard to be flaky, you expect John Terry to underperform but apparently Rooney is at the level of the Brazilians. To which the answer is a choice between 'er, no' or a simple raspberry. Apparently he left the pitch complaining that England fans were booing him. No sh!t, Sherlock. You're paid £90,000+ a week to kick a ball around the pitch. Why can't you do it, you waste of space?
As for the manager, well my pop philosophy on football is that organisation wins games, not just talent. Put together 11 talented players and you have 11 talented players - but teams win tournaments. That's how Greece managed to win the European Championships with far more limited players than this bunch. Sorry, Fabio, but no excuses: the buck stops with you and you failed to respond to the dismal, dismal display.
Here's how to solve it. Put Rooney on the bench. If he won't play, don't let him play. Make the jumped up little [insert noun of your choice here] work for his place, not just assume he's there. Start with Peter Crouch and Shaun Wright-Phillips, who at least challenged the excellent and spirited Algerians. Use Aaron Lennon, who's like a steam train when he runs at the defence. Keep our defence the same as they did okay and they at least seem to know how to play together. Above all, just do something, anything, to change things.
Disgusted, dismayed, despondent. If this England team win the World Cup I'll move to Baghdad and set up a bagel shop.
England were outplayed by an energetic Algeria - delightfully patronised by all and sundry despite them having qualified for this tournament fair and square and having beaten the imperious three-times African Nations Cup champions, Egypt, on the way.
Let's cut the crap. England are terrible. They lack spirit, they lack ability, they can't play together, they are woeful.
A key question is why the manager didn't play our 'world class' star, Wayne Rooney. And who was the fumbling spud-faced Scouser at the front of the England team who couldn't kick a ball in a straight line. He looked like Wayne Rooney but he couldn't have been, surely.
Now you expect Frank Lampard to be flaky, you expect John Terry to underperform but apparently Rooney is at the level of the Brazilians. To which the answer is a choice between 'er, no' or a simple raspberry. Apparently he left the pitch complaining that England fans were booing him. No sh!t, Sherlock. You're paid £90,000+ a week to kick a ball around the pitch. Why can't you do it, you waste of space?
As for the manager, well my pop philosophy on football is that organisation wins games, not just talent. Put together 11 talented players and you have 11 talented players - but teams win tournaments. That's how Greece managed to win the European Championships with far more limited players than this bunch. Sorry, Fabio, but no excuses: the buck stops with you and you failed to respond to the dismal, dismal display.
Here's how to solve it. Put Rooney on the bench. If he won't play, don't let him play. Make the jumped up little [insert noun of your choice here] work for his place, not just assume he's there. Start with Peter Crouch and Shaun Wright-Phillips, who at least challenged the excellent and spirited Algerians. Use Aaron Lennon, who's like a steam train when he runs at the defence. Keep our defence the same as they did okay and they at least seem to know how to play together. Above all, just do something, anything, to change things.
Disgusted, dismayed, despondent. If this England team win the World Cup I'll move to Baghdad and set up a bagel shop.
Tuesday 15 June 2010
HOORAY FOR FRANZ BECKENBAUER
At last, the World Cup wakes up for England as the old sporting enemy, Germany, starts to needle the England team. I can't imagine a better incentive for our players than to hear the comments of Franz Beckenbauer on the limitations of the England team. The problem is that we need to finish second in Group C to come up against the Germans, who are highly likely to win their Group.
There is no doubt that the Germans have had a better start to the tournament but that is because they played the Socceroos. Australia has no tradition of football at all whereas the USA has for decades been a contender and has provided upsets as far back as the win over England in 1950. They are no lightweights, whereas, uniquely in this sport, our Antipodean brethren are.
As for the accusation of 'kick and rush' football, that's just rubbish. England's display wasn't brilliant on Saturday but it certainly wasn't 'kick and rush' either. There were glimpses of the supposed talent we have available and with any luck that talent will finally start to show against Algeria. I'm no fan of our Premiership primadonnas but they can play football - at least when they aren't injured or doing photo shoots for expensive knickers.
The 'kaiser' was right to point out that the Premiership is too dominated with foreign players but then who watches the Bundesliga outside of Germany? Football is a business and the money is in England. That said, I would still favour a national team picked primarily from the Championship as I think we'd see a better quality team, even if the individuals didn't necessarily have the individual skills of their overrated colleagues.
So here's a quandary. I don't want England to win the Group because there is simply nothing to compare with a match at the World Cup against Germany. Let's have a mediocre qualification followed by a classic 'winner takes all' game. And let's hope Beckenbauer is there to have his nose firmly tweaked (I'm being polite) at the end.
And to those who say we should be aiming for an easier progression, the answer is no. Football is a spectacle so let's aim to impress with a bravura display.
There is no doubt that the Germans have had a better start to the tournament but that is because they played the Socceroos. Australia has no tradition of football at all whereas the USA has for decades been a contender and has provided upsets as far back as the win over England in 1950. They are no lightweights, whereas, uniquely in this sport, our Antipodean brethren are.
As for the accusation of 'kick and rush' football, that's just rubbish. England's display wasn't brilliant on Saturday but it certainly wasn't 'kick and rush' either. There were glimpses of the supposed talent we have available and with any luck that talent will finally start to show against Algeria. I'm no fan of our Premiership primadonnas but they can play football - at least when they aren't injured or doing photo shoots for expensive knickers.
The 'kaiser' was right to point out that the Premiership is too dominated with foreign players but then who watches the Bundesliga outside of Germany? Football is a business and the money is in England. That said, I would still favour a national team picked primarily from the Championship as I think we'd see a better quality team, even if the individuals didn't necessarily have the individual skills of their overrated colleagues.
So here's a quandary. I don't want England to win the Group because there is simply nothing to compare with a match at the World Cup against Germany. Let's have a mediocre qualification followed by a classic 'winner takes all' game. And let's hope Beckenbauer is there to have his nose firmly tweaked (I'm being polite) at the end.
And to those who say we should be aiming for an easier progression, the answer is no. Football is a spectacle so let's aim to impress with a bravura display.
Saturday 12 June 2010
SO HERE WE GO AGAIN...IS ANYONE SURPRISED?
Perhaps the answer to my last post is 'no'...
Things didn't start well for me as I tried desperately to watch the match in Oxfordshire, where we lost our main TV transmitter in a fire a few months ago. Cue pixellated images with Five Live just about keeping me in touch until I remembered that the internet now gets to all corners of the country. Sadly, ITV's website wasn't the best but we were able to just about keep up, although it was akin to watching the event a mile away through a heavily rain-soaked window.
I enjoyed the chat though as lots of semi-literate Americans posted biting comments such as 'yay!' and 'USA, USA!' Mark Twain and Harper Lee must be proud of these people.
Anyway, to the football, that was the usual underwhelming first display from England, so no one should be surprised there. The USA have always been a tricky team to beat as they match our style. The fact that they were delighted to get a draw is still a measure of the difference between the two teams.
We should all despair, however, because the newspapers are going to go into overdrive about the goalkeeper's mistake which let the USA back into the game. I predict no end of diagrams in tomorrow's tabloids showing precisely how Robert Green messed up. I bet none of the sports reporters will own up to their own howlers which, let's be honest, we've all made at some stage in our lives...Get a life guys, it happens.
The bright spots were Emile Hesley, who really played a full part in the first half, and the general run of play in the second half, much of which England dominated. There were hints of a football team there - not many but one or two. Even Wayne Rooney deigned to kick the ball a few times in the second half, which was kind of him.
So England are the real perennial underachievers of the World Cup, what's new. I predict a dodgy result against Algeria - but a result, nonetheless - followed by a resounding win against Slovenia. It always seems to go like that. But that's where all bets should be off. This is not the England team to take us to glory.
Things didn't start well for me as I tried desperately to watch the match in Oxfordshire, where we lost our main TV transmitter in a fire a few months ago. Cue pixellated images with Five Live just about keeping me in touch until I remembered that the internet now gets to all corners of the country. Sadly, ITV's website wasn't the best but we were able to just about keep up, although it was akin to watching the event a mile away through a heavily rain-soaked window.
I enjoyed the chat though as lots of semi-literate Americans posted biting comments such as 'yay!' and 'USA, USA!' Mark Twain and Harper Lee must be proud of these people.
Anyway, to the football, that was the usual underwhelming first display from England, so no one should be surprised there. The USA have always been a tricky team to beat as they match our style. The fact that they were delighted to get a draw is still a measure of the difference between the two teams.
We should all despair, however, because the newspapers are going to go into overdrive about the goalkeeper's mistake which let the USA back into the game. I predict no end of diagrams in tomorrow's tabloids showing precisely how Robert Green messed up. I bet none of the sports reporters will own up to their own howlers which, let's be honest, we've all made at some stage in our lives...Get a life guys, it happens.
The bright spots were Emile Hesley, who really played a full part in the first half, and the general run of play in the second half, much of which England dominated. There were hints of a football team there - not many but one or two. Even Wayne Rooney deigned to kick the ball a few times in the second half, which was kind of him.
So England are the real perennial underachievers of the World Cup, what's new. I predict a dodgy result against Algeria - but a result, nonetheless - followed by a resounding win against Slovenia. It always seems to go like that. But that's where all bets should be off. This is not the England team to take us to glory.
Tuesday 8 June 2010
CAN WE DARE TO DREAM?
Here comes the feast, the four yearly riot of the finest football in the world. If you're a nay-sayer, go on holiday and leave the World Cup for the rest of us. The best news is that Steven Gerrard has been made captain. I have preferred him over the Chelsea ponce all along as he's one of the few England players who seems to actually give a damn when it counts.
The worst news is that, inexplicably, Emile Heskey is in South Africa. I hope against all previous dashed hopes that Heskey can prove me - and thousands of others - wrong and get it right when it counts but his habit of doing precisely stuff all when in an England shirt and constantly getting tired during matches so that he has to repeatedly lie down in the penalty area does not inspire confidence in me.
Put plainly, Peter Crouch scores goals so he'd be my first choice any day. Isn't that why they're there?
Anyway, with Gerrard holding the armband and as long as Wayne 'the sulk' Rooney can control his juvenile temper, it might be time to start dreaming a little. Dare we?
The worst news is that, inexplicably, Emile Heskey is in South Africa. I hope against all previous dashed hopes that Heskey can prove me - and thousands of others - wrong and get it right when it counts but his habit of doing precisely stuff all when in an England shirt and constantly getting tired during matches so that he has to repeatedly lie down in the penalty area does not inspire confidence in me.
Put plainly, Peter Crouch scores goals so he'd be my first choice any day. Isn't that why they're there?
Anyway, with Gerrard holding the armband and as long as Wayne 'the sulk' Rooney can control his juvenile temper, it might be time to start dreaming a little. Dare we?
Sunday 16 May 2010
MAY 16th: PLAY OFF FINAL. OXFORD UNITED 3, YORK CITY 1
Well that match lived up to all my expectations, which is not something you can always say about Oxford. From arriving in the stadium to Alfie Potter's swaggering final goal the day was pretty perfect. The only blot was the train there but that was a minor irritation which I'll get out of the way quickly.
Coming back from Wembley we were well shepherded to the station and put onto a fast, if full, special train which got us back to Oxfordshire quickly and efficiently. That contrasts with the cattle truck we went from Bicester to Wembley on, which was standing room only. The atmosphere was great but I felt for my small son, whose journey was one of armpits and bums. Can't we do better in the 21st century?
However, we arrived and things got a lot better. Wembley town itself is pretty naff but we got our chips and a couple of cans. We then found out that we couldn't take the cans in so we wandered around with several beakers full of liquid, which was amusing if nothing else. All the Wembley staff were helpful and the general feeling of being herded into pens which can feature in such large venues was absent.
Walking into the arena itself was an awesome moment. I went to the old Wembley many moons ago but this was my first time at the new Wembley and it lived up to all my expectations. A stunning venue made extra special by the sea of yellow and blue. Magic.
Then the game started and Oxford seemed to be in control from the word go. This was confirmed when Matt Green scored a stunning first goal which was worthy of the finest players in the world. We started to party.
Then came glory when a few minutes later Beano did what Beano has done best throughout the season, whacking the ball into the net, long and low, with verve and power. Fire up the Mini, we're off to League Two.
Given the clearly superior performance of Oxford it was therefore a shame that Ryan Clarke made a mistake - not something you normally see associated with him, one of the lynchpins of the squad over the season. The wet ball slipped through his hands from a York cross and landed in the back of the net. A wobble but an error he could be forgiven for given the circumstances and the weather. You might say that Oxford scored all the goals.
That goal had the advantage of livening up what was already a cracking game and the second half continued to impress with York going for it and Oxford putting together some fine play. I don't wish to dismiss York by claiming credit for Oxford's performance as they impressed and they deserve credit for working hard to get the game back but Oxford were simply one better today.
Then at the end came the moment you dream of your team having in the 90th minute as Alfie Potter had time on a break to stop, think and then slot in a great strike in the bottom corner just away from the hand of the diving York goalkeeper and with James Constable to his right giving him options.
Once again York deserve credit for fighting until the last moment to rescue the game but by then it was Oxford's and the celebrations had begun.
I shall remember this day for many years and its perhaps true to say that the sea of yellow in the stands outshone even the football but the three goals which we scored today were all of the highest order so they might just take precedence...
Best player in the first half was probably Damian Batt, who seemed to be going forward constantly. In the second half Jack Midson took that role on and deserves plaudits but its difficult to pick anyone out. Maybe the manager, who got us there, not quite by the route we planned but the result was worth it. It was just a great day to be a yellow.
Coming back from Wembley we were well shepherded to the station and put onto a fast, if full, special train which got us back to Oxfordshire quickly and efficiently. That contrasts with the cattle truck we went from Bicester to Wembley on, which was standing room only. The atmosphere was great but I felt for my small son, whose journey was one of armpits and bums. Can't we do better in the 21st century?
However, we arrived and things got a lot better. Wembley town itself is pretty naff but we got our chips and a couple of cans. We then found out that we couldn't take the cans in so we wandered around with several beakers full of liquid, which was amusing if nothing else. All the Wembley staff were helpful and the general feeling of being herded into pens which can feature in such large venues was absent.
Walking into the arena itself was an awesome moment. I went to the old Wembley many moons ago but this was my first time at the new Wembley and it lived up to all my expectations. A stunning venue made extra special by the sea of yellow and blue. Magic.
Then the game started and Oxford seemed to be in control from the word go. This was confirmed when Matt Green scored a stunning first goal which was worthy of the finest players in the world. We started to party.
Then came glory when a few minutes later Beano did what Beano has done best throughout the season, whacking the ball into the net, long and low, with verve and power. Fire up the Mini, we're off to League Two.
Given the clearly superior performance of Oxford it was therefore a shame that Ryan Clarke made a mistake - not something you normally see associated with him, one of the lynchpins of the squad over the season. The wet ball slipped through his hands from a York cross and landed in the back of the net. A wobble but an error he could be forgiven for given the circumstances and the weather. You might say that Oxford scored all the goals.
That goal had the advantage of livening up what was already a cracking game and the second half continued to impress with York going for it and Oxford putting together some fine play. I don't wish to dismiss York by claiming credit for Oxford's performance as they impressed and they deserve credit for working hard to get the game back but Oxford were simply one better today.
Then at the end came the moment you dream of your team having in the 90th minute as Alfie Potter had time on a break to stop, think and then slot in a great strike in the bottom corner just away from the hand of the diving York goalkeeper and with James Constable to his right giving him options.
Once again York deserve credit for fighting until the last moment to rescue the game but by then it was Oxford's and the celebrations had begun.
I shall remember this day for many years and its perhaps true to say that the sea of yellow in the stands outshone even the football but the three goals which we scored today were all of the highest order so they might just take precedence...
Best player in the first half was probably Damian Batt, who seemed to be going forward constantly. In the second half Jack Midson took that role on and deserves plaudits but its difficult to pick anyone out. Maybe the manager, who got us there, not quite by the route we planned but the result was worth it. It was just a great day to be a yellow.
Sunday 14 March 2010
OXFORD UTD 1 KETTERING 1
Troubling times these for the Us as the team's hard work earlier in the season begins to unravel. The Oxford Utd which started with both drive and organisation seems to have lost its way in both these areas. The absence of some of the stalwart players of early days seems to have had a major impact on the team.
This was a second rate performance by the team, most of whose members were second to the ball against a strong Kettering side. It was a shame for the game that Kettering felt they had to resort quite so often to climbing all over the Oxford players and there were one or two very dangerous challenges by Kettering players which could have been nasty but that aside they played with belief and deserved their point.
As for Oxford, they struggled and they simply didn't give the impression that they were going to win throughout the game, which was at least an enjoyably end-to-end one. The problem in many games has been the lack of service for the strikers but of late it seems to me that the problem has been the failure to take simple chances to put the round thing between the wooden sticks. More than once in this game Oxford had players in the area in great positions but the ball was instead played back, sometimes to the halfway line before another slow build up which the energetic Kettering often broke up.
Now, I don't like criticism of the team as they work hard for 90 minutes and I'd last about 3 at the same pace. Plus I doubt I could score a goal if I was a yard out with all the other players at the other end of the pitch but, put plainly, the team which played yesterday was not a promotion-winning outfit. They lack belief and someone in the role the excellent Adam Murray performed for us of acting as someone to play around and someone to shout at them when things weren't going well. They urgently need to get this back.
Why not have a punt at Sam Deering as captain? There is no doubt he gives 100% throughout the game and he threatens the opposition constantly. We could do a lot worse. Similarly Frannie Green stood out from the others through his sheer application and ability to challenge and create chances. Why not give him a go?
The other thing the team needs is simply to lose its fear of having a shot at goal. Common sense suggests that the more the ball goes towards the goal the more times it will reach it. Oh Beano, where art thou?!
Finally, I have just received a postcard inviting me to renew my season ticket for next year. I'd love to do so but I'm not sure I could face another winter surrounded by the miserable whingers around me, including one whose idea of intelligent comment involved words of one syllable beginning with 'f' which I had to spend the match warning my eight year old son not to repeat on pain of severe action. He of course thought it was hilarious...
For the record the referee did know what he was doing, he did call most of the decisions reasonably well and he had a fair game. Not every tackle by a Kettering player on an Oxford player deserved a yellow card or a sending off and not every challenge by an Oxford player was right and proper. Every time I go just lately I wonder why some of my neighbours bother to turn up if all they are going to do is hurl abuse at the ref and slag off their team.
As my son pointed out at the disappointing end to yesterday's game, showing a lot more maturity than many there, Oxford are still second and they didn't lose yesterday. At the very least there is no doubt that this season is going to be a thriller as it draws to a close and the away game at Stevenage is likely to be a classic. All we need to do is win it.
This was a second rate performance by the team, most of whose members were second to the ball against a strong Kettering side. It was a shame for the game that Kettering felt they had to resort quite so often to climbing all over the Oxford players and there were one or two very dangerous challenges by Kettering players which could have been nasty but that aside they played with belief and deserved their point.
As for Oxford, they struggled and they simply didn't give the impression that they were going to win throughout the game, which was at least an enjoyably end-to-end one. The problem in many games has been the lack of service for the strikers but of late it seems to me that the problem has been the failure to take simple chances to put the round thing between the wooden sticks. More than once in this game Oxford had players in the area in great positions but the ball was instead played back, sometimes to the halfway line before another slow build up which the energetic Kettering often broke up.
Now, I don't like criticism of the team as they work hard for 90 minutes and I'd last about 3 at the same pace. Plus I doubt I could score a goal if I was a yard out with all the other players at the other end of the pitch but, put plainly, the team which played yesterday was not a promotion-winning outfit. They lack belief and someone in the role the excellent Adam Murray performed for us of acting as someone to play around and someone to shout at them when things weren't going well. They urgently need to get this back.
Why not have a punt at Sam Deering as captain? There is no doubt he gives 100% throughout the game and he threatens the opposition constantly. We could do a lot worse. Similarly Frannie Green stood out from the others through his sheer application and ability to challenge and create chances. Why not give him a go?
The other thing the team needs is simply to lose its fear of having a shot at goal. Common sense suggests that the more the ball goes towards the goal the more times it will reach it. Oh Beano, where art thou?!
Finally, I have just received a postcard inviting me to renew my season ticket for next year. I'd love to do so but I'm not sure I could face another winter surrounded by the miserable whingers around me, including one whose idea of intelligent comment involved words of one syllable beginning with 'f' which I had to spend the match warning my eight year old son not to repeat on pain of severe action. He of course thought it was hilarious...
For the record the referee did know what he was doing, he did call most of the decisions reasonably well and he had a fair game. Not every tackle by a Kettering player on an Oxford player deserved a yellow card or a sending off and not every challenge by an Oxford player was right and proper. Every time I go just lately I wonder why some of my neighbours bother to turn up if all they are going to do is hurl abuse at the ref and slag off their team.
As my son pointed out at the disappointing end to yesterday's game, showing a lot more maturity than many there, Oxford are still second and they didn't lose yesterday. At the very least there is no doubt that this season is going to be a thriller as it draws to a close and the away game at Stevenage is likely to be a classic. All we need to do is win it.
Wednesday 17 February 2010
OXFORD UTD 1 RUSHDEN 0
Back to winning ways for the Yellows with the last two games won convincingly. Now that may seem an odd thing to say given that last night's game was won through a penalty and that Constable missed a penalty in the first half but the team I watched play last night and on Saturday was clearly better than the opposition on both occasions and can be most usefully criticised by noting that the players managed to miss a wealth of chances they created.
Saturday's game was notable for the quality of the Oxford game, as well as for the worrying sight of Alfie Potter pulling up and going off injured. He'll be missed as the season builds to a climax and hopefully he will be back soon. The other, happier sight was the Histon physio, a huge fat man whose run to his injured player surely gets plaudits for effort, even if he only managed to get there as the player was getting up and walking away. I think he got the loudest cheer of the afternoon.
Coming back to Rushden, once again I question the sense of Constable as captain since he is upfront and his job is to get goals, one he has proved to be excellent at. While he's worrying about the rest of the team it might be said that his focus is a little weakened. The other problem for me is the over-reliance on the superb Sam Deering to take the ball forward. In most situations when Oxford attacked the ball was passed to him on the right. He is more than able to deal with this but a little more variety in attack might help to provide more success.
Substitute Matt Green is a live wire and he always causes problems when he comes on. He might offer balance to Deering's searing runs.
I went last night without my son, who is getting over a cold and who was not very happy at being so cold on Saturday. This gave me the opportunity to listen to Jack FM's commentary. It was just a shame that Jack had gone to another game and that they were not able to tell me about Oxford United. Apparently the game last night was 'a war of attrition' and it was rather even. Er, not the game I saw. Oxford clearly had the upper hand and spent long periods in the Rushden half. Rushden had a handful of scoring chances all of which the ever solid Ryan Clarke managed to deal with ably and confidently.
According to Jack FM, all Blue Square refs are terrible and they all make the wrong decisions. This was echoed by the lamentable Lady Orgasm behind me who moaned her way through another game together with her equally miserable family. Everything Oxford did was met with cries of derision. Quite why these people come to football games to 'support' Oxford United is beyond me, since they complain about everything.
As to the referees, last night's example was officious but he seemed to me to be in control of the game and his two penalty decisions were spot on. The radio criticised him for his somewhat Teutonic hand gestures - there was more than a touch of the 'Austrian Corporal' about some of them - but generally I thought he did fine. Statistically, it is impossible for every refereeing decision to be wrong so why can't people just lighten up and accept that the ref is one man with 22 individuals challenging everything he does and every now and then he will err. Big deal. Get over it. Support your team.
All in all I thought it was an excellent performance and it demonstrates that the new signings have settled in very well. Call me a heretic but I am confident about the race to the finish. I realise that a true football fan laments every setback as the end of the world but that way lies the bleating of Lady O and her ilk and I'd rather not turn up if that is where football fandom leads.
One final point of controversy: the sale of the programmes prepared for December 26th was a scandal and p***ed me off. I like the programme and I actually bother to read it when I can. After all, normally I have an eight year old to attend to so I can only dip in. I shall therefore make my point in the only way possible, by not buying the programme at the next home game. I hope others follow suit. If I am going to spend my hard earned to support the team I expect to be treated better than this. Generally my experiences at the Kassam have been great but this annoyed me.
Anyway, onwards and upwards - and at the moment that's just what is happening so compliments to all concerned.
Saturday's game was notable for the quality of the Oxford game, as well as for the worrying sight of Alfie Potter pulling up and going off injured. He'll be missed as the season builds to a climax and hopefully he will be back soon. The other, happier sight was the Histon physio, a huge fat man whose run to his injured player surely gets plaudits for effort, even if he only managed to get there as the player was getting up and walking away. I think he got the loudest cheer of the afternoon.
Coming back to Rushden, once again I question the sense of Constable as captain since he is upfront and his job is to get goals, one he has proved to be excellent at. While he's worrying about the rest of the team it might be said that his focus is a little weakened. The other problem for me is the over-reliance on the superb Sam Deering to take the ball forward. In most situations when Oxford attacked the ball was passed to him on the right. He is more than able to deal with this but a little more variety in attack might help to provide more success.
Substitute Matt Green is a live wire and he always causes problems when he comes on. He might offer balance to Deering's searing runs.
I went last night without my son, who is getting over a cold and who was not very happy at being so cold on Saturday. This gave me the opportunity to listen to Jack FM's commentary. It was just a shame that Jack had gone to another game and that they were not able to tell me about Oxford United. Apparently the game last night was 'a war of attrition' and it was rather even. Er, not the game I saw. Oxford clearly had the upper hand and spent long periods in the Rushden half. Rushden had a handful of scoring chances all of which the ever solid Ryan Clarke managed to deal with ably and confidently.
According to Jack FM, all Blue Square refs are terrible and they all make the wrong decisions. This was echoed by the lamentable Lady Orgasm behind me who moaned her way through another game together with her equally miserable family. Everything Oxford did was met with cries of derision. Quite why these people come to football games to 'support' Oxford United is beyond me, since they complain about everything.
As to the referees, last night's example was officious but he seemed to me to be in control of the game and his two penalty decisions were spot on. The radio criticised him for his somewhat Teutonic hand gestures - there was more than a touch of the 'Austrian Corporal' about some of them - but generally I thought he did fine. Statistically, it is impossible for every refereeing decision to be wrong so why can't people just lighten up and accept that the ref is one man with 22 individuals challenging everything he does and every now and then he will err. Big deal. Get over it. Support your team.
All in all I thought it was an excellent performance and it demonstrates that the new signings have settled in very well. Call me a heretic but I am confident about the race to the finish. I realise that a true football fan laments every setback as the end of the world but that way lies the bleating of Lady O and her ilk and I'd rather not turn up if that is where football fandom leads.
One final point of controversy: the sale of the programmes prepared for December 26th was a scandal and p***ed me off. I like the programme and I actually bother to read it when I can. After all, normally I have an eight year old to attend to so I can only dip in. I shall therefore make my point in the only way possible, by not buying the programme at the next home game. I hope others follow suit. If I am going to spend my hard earned to support the team I expect to be treated better than this. Generally my experiences at the Kassam have been great but this annoyed me.
Anyway, onwards and upwards - and at the moment that's just what is happening so compliments to all concerned.
Saturday 6 February 2010
OXFORD UNITED 0 KIDDERMINSTER HARRIERS 0
Well that was one of those games which could be said to be interesting for the neutral but for anyone in a yellow shirt it was deeply frustrating. My concerns were raised when Captain Marvel failed to emerge but there were enough regulars to give me confidence. However, James Constable as captain? Strikers rarely flourish in that role given that they are meant to be facing forwards for most of the game.
For all the difficulties it would be churlish to criticise the effort the team put in and the early period of play was great, with attacks going in from all sides. How we failed to score is difficult to understand.
Kidderminster Harriers seemed to have a better understanding between their players and they were the better passing side today but they were also decidedly free with their challenges and they clearly had a great fondness for Oxford United's players, given the amount of time they spent climbing all over them.
Which brings us on to the ref. Now I always fight shy of criticising the ref as he has an impossible job but even I found myself screaming some choice comments at the man in black over a number of his omissions. By my count we had two obvious penalties in the first half and the number of fouls by Kidderminster Leapfroggers was in double figures after the first 45 minutes.
He rather lost control of things during the second half but I can't say that was surprising given the level of abuse he was being subjected to. Seriously, this is no way to treat a fellow human being.
Miserable Old Git in front of me insisted on shouting out the ref's name and telling him what he thought of him throughout the second half. I do wonder why he bothers coming along.
My son made a telling point when he said it seemed that Oxford's season had started to slide with the introduction of the new signings. That's a bit of an 'out of the mouths of babes' moment. It does seem to be the case that the team, which established itself as a hard-working and effective unit and which earned and thoroughly deserved its place at the top of the Blue Square through verve and style, has struggled to accommodate the new members. Still, you've got to have confidence in the manager's decisions as he's got us this far in some style.
Lady Orgasm provided a rare insight into evolution as she had brought along what must have been a close family relative - a granddaughter I'd guess - who joined her gran in screaming inanely throughout the game. Their running commentary consisted of shouting "Go on [PLAYER'S NAME HERE]" repetitively and very, very loudly. They also took very vocal umbrage at ever challenge by Kidderminster, whether legal or not. At one stage towards the end of the game Kidderminster were attacking the Oxford goal and the granddaughter screamed at the top of her voice "DON'T SCORE!". Kidderminster duly didn't and I am sure I heard her boyfriend administering CPR as the ball was played away. He's a lucky boy...Like a couple in the adjoining house making noisy love, I don't mind what they are doing I just wish they'd be a bit quieter about it. A few less inane comments would also be most welcome.
But I digress. Back to the action and Oxford had a series of attacks on the Kidderminster goal as the game worked its way to a conclusion, all of which would have seen them wheeling away in triumph on another day but this time there was just no finish and sadly no joy.
Good effort as ever from Alfie Potter who always seems to have double the work rate of the others. Sam Deering was unstoppable and created many of the chances, especially in the second half, through his midfield work, where he was central to breaking up the Kidderminster play. Ryan Clarke remains reassuringly solid in goal and Beano ran himself to a standstill in his new role, sadly to little effect. That's the point of a captain: during the pretty dismal performance against Tamworth, Murray worked and worked to try to deliver a result, without success but not due to a lack of effort. Constable didn't seem to play such a pivotal role today.
But then again, we were treated to Stevenage losing, we returned to the top of the league and we still have two games in hand so there's not too much wrong with the world when you think about it. We remain on track.
And that's pretty much where I part company with a lot of people, the ones who left early and the ones who were dismissive of the players. The best comment came from one of Lady O's brood who simply said "Same old Oxford United" like he could make that effort for 90 minutes. They worked hard, they tried, they didn't succeed. Well, no sh*t. That is football after all.
Keep up the good work.
For all the difficulties it would be churlish to criticise the effort the team put in and the early period of play was great, with attacks going in from all sides. How we failed to score is difficult to understand.
Kidderminster Harriers seemed to have a better understanding between their players and they were the better passing side today but they were also decidedly free with their challenges and they clearly had a great fondness for Oxford United's players, given the amount of time they spent climbing all over them.
Which brings us on to the ref. Now I always fight shy of criticising the ref as he has an impossible job but even I found myself screaming some choice comments at the man in black over a number of his omissions. By my count we had two obvious penalties in the first half and the number of fouls by Kidderminster Leapfroggers was in double figures after the first 45 minutes.
He rather lost control of things during the second half but I can't say that was surprising given the level of abuse he was being subjected to. Seriously, this is no way to treat a fellow human being.
Miserable Old Git in front of me insisted on shouting out the ref's name and telling him what he thought of him throughout the second half. I do wonder why he bothers coming along.
My son made a telling point when he said it seemed that Oxford's season had started to slide with the introduction of the new signings. That's a bit of an 'out of the mouths of babes' moment. It does seem to be the case that the team, which established itself as a hard-working and effective unit and which earned and thoroughly deserved its place at the top of the Blue Square through verve and style, has struggled to accommodate the new members. Still, you've got to have confidence in the manager's decisions as he's got us this far in some style.
Lady Orgasm provided a rare insight into evolution as she had brought along what must have been a close family relative - a granddaughter I'd guess - who joined her gran in screaming inanely throughout the game. Their running commentary consisted of shouting "Go on [PLAYER'S NAME HERE]" repetitively and very, very loudly. They also took very vocal umbrage at ever challenge by Kidderminster, whether legal or not. At one stage towards the end of the game Kidderminster were attacking the Oxford goal and the granddaughter screamed at the top of her voice "DON'T SCORE!". Kidderminster duly didn't and I am sure I heard her boyfriend administering CPR as the ball was played away. He's a lucky boy...Like a couple in the adjoining house making noisy love, I don't mind what they are doing I just wish they'd be a bit quieter about it. A few less inane comments would also be most welcome.
But I digress. Back to the action and Oxford had a series of attacks on the Kidderminster goal as the game worked its way to a conclusion, all of which would have seen them wheeling away in triumph on another day but this time there was just no finish and sadly no joy.
Good effort as ever from Alfie Potter who always seems to have double the work rate of the others. Sam Deering was unstoppable and created many of the chances, especially in the second half, through his midfield work, where he was central to breaking up the Kidderminster play. Ryan Clarke remains reassuringly solid in goal and Beano ran himself to a standstill in his new role, sadly to little effect. That's the point of a captain: during the pretty dismal performance against Tamworth, Murray worked and worked to try to deliver a result, without success but not due to a lack of effort. Constable didn't seem to play such a pivotal role today.
But then again, we were treated to Stevenage losing, we returned to the top of the league and we still have two games in hand so there's not too much wrong with the world when you think about it. We remain on track.
And that's pretty much where I part company with a lot of people, the ones who left early and the ones who were dismissive of the players. The best comment came from one of Lady O's brood who simply said "Same old Oxford United" like he could make that effort for 90 minutes. They worked hard, they tried, they didn't succeed. Well, no sh*t. That is football after all.
Keep up the good work.
Saturday 16 January 2010
OXFORD UNITED 0 TAMWORTH 1
Well blimey, it's been months since I have written anything and it feels like months since I attended a football game. After today's shocker I wish it had been longer. This was by far the worst performance by the Us since I started attending. I am struggling for some crumbs of comfort so here they are: captain Adam Murray was clearly irritated by the performance and he upped his game accordingly, sadly to no avail; there are still two games in hand; and, er...that's it.
Tamworth clearly outperformed Oxford: they had the fabled extra yard in every situation, with very few exceptions. After a slow start Franny Green picked up his pace with welcome results but sadly without anything to show for it. Constable and Potter also threatened tantalisingly in the early stages but they also failed to deliver despite their efforts. Alfie Potter has been my favourite player this year for his industry and ability to create opportunities but he lacked an edge today.
Half time came and went and I calmly waited for a chastened team to emerge having endured the hopefully hairdryer-like input of manager Chris Wilder during the break. Me and my son assured each other that this would indeed be a game of two halves and it was - the only problem being that nothing changed between them both. The manager's motivational technique appears to have escaped him today. He appeared to have failed to impress on the players that they were a team which might get a result if they played together so the second half was little better. The work rate improved but once again there was nothing to show for it.
As for Tamworth, you have to wonder if they spend equal amounts of time during the week on the training ground and at acting school. One or two of them must be up for Oscars this year given their performances wasting time across the pitch. The strangely confused referee did eventually start to card the worst exponents of the 'Staffordshire method' but he had lost a lot of authority by this stage through a series of - put politely - 'confusing' decisions. [I am always loathe to criticise the referee because he has a bloody awful job to do and he gets no thanks whatever he does but Oxford were clearly badly served today by the man in black.]
The crowd was not happy and this might be considered a bright spot [bear with me...]. The normally quiet Family Area was today loud with general complaining and cries of anguish. Lady O behind me was of course the loudest of them all as she bemoaned every decision and bayed for blood in her inimitable style. She is so out of place in the football ground that you wonder if she accidentally swapped her season ticket for the Royal Opera with a friend by mistake.
Strangely the miserable old git in front of us said very little. He must have worn out all his cliches in earlier games, so much that he had no further depths to plumb today. He peaked too soon...
The referee seems to have come to some sense by the end as he added 6 minutes to normal time. The Tamworth team rushed for their ruffs and their skulls as they built up to this extra period of thespian excess with all the enthusiasm of Kate Winslet being promised a Sunday Supplement feature. Sadly the relentless pressure of the Us at the end did not pay off with the only successful strike by Constable ruled offside. The team then disintegrated, with Murray invalided off and Batt sent off. Bad times.
Anyway, you have to be philosophical: you're surely not a proper football fan until you see your team lose and today was our initiation into the 'Real World' of despair and angst that is football. There remains all to play for and that must surely be enough cliches for one blog post. Onwards and upwards...I hope.
Tamworth clearly outperformed Oxford: they had the fabled extra yard in every situation, with very few exceptions. After a slow start Franny Green picked up his pace with welcome results but sadly without anything to show for it. Constable and Potter also threatened tantalisingly in the early stages but they also failed to deliver despite their efforts. Alfie Potter has been my favourite player this year for his industry and ability to create opportunities but he lacked an edge today.
Half time came and went and I calmly waited for a chastened team to emerge having endured the hopefully hairdryer-like input of manager Chris Wilder during the break. Me and my son assured each other that this would indeed be a game of two halves and it was - the only problem being that nothing changed between them both. The manager's motivational technique appears to have escaped him today. He appeared to have failed to impress on the players that they were a team which might get a result if they played together so the second half was little better. The work rate improved but once again there was nothing to show for it.
As for Tamworth, you have to wonder if they spend equal amounts of time during the week on the training ground and at acting school. One or two of them must be up for Oscars this year given their performances wasting time across the pitch. The strangely confused referee did eventually start to card the worst exponents of the 'Staffordshire method' but he had lost a lot of authority by this stage through a series of - put politely - 'confusing' decisions. [I am always loathe to criticise the referee because he has a bloody awful job to do and he gets no thanks whatever he does but Oxford were clearly badly served today by the man in black.]
The crowd was not happy and this might be considered a bright spot [bear with me...]. The normally quiet Family Area was today loud with general complaining and cries of anguish. Lady O behind me was of course the loudest of them all as she bemoaned every decision and bayed for blood in her inimitable style. She is so out of place in the football ground that you wonder if she accidentally swapped her season ticket for the Royal Opera with a friend by mistake.
Strangely the miserable old git in front of us said very little. He must have worn out all his cliches in earlier games, so much that he had no further depths to plumb today. He peaked too soon...
The referee seems to have come to some sense by the end as he added 6 minutes to normal time. The Tamworth team rushed for their ruffs and their skulls as they built up to this extra period of thespian excess with all the enthusiasm of Kate Winslet being promised a Sunday Supplement feature. Sadly the relentless pressure of the Us at the end did not pay off with the only successful strike by Constable ruled offside. The team then disintegrated, with Murray invalided off and Batt sent off. Bad times.
Anyway, you have to be philosophical: you're surely not a proper football fan until you see your team lose and today was our initiation into the 'Real World' of despair and angst that is football. There remains all to play for and that must surely be enough cliches for one blog post. Onwards and upwards...I hope.
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